Missing my precious family member

about 20days before my PMR... she left this world
Before she left this world she say when I start working, I need to buy her a 'Wan Tan Mee'.
But I think I do not have any chance to buy it anymore for her.
I miss her.

Since small, she spoilt me and gave me anything I want. She never beat me nor scold me. Whenever I am naughty, she will just keep quiet. When I am sick, she will take care of me. No matter what happen to me, she will solve it for me. She alway say when I grown up, I will be doctor and she alway call me Dr.Long and I will treat her for free whenever she is sick. Although my education result is not good, she will never give up on me. She give me support.

The day she left this world, I can do nothing but just cry outside the ICU. I felt useless.
The day she left this world, I only cry for halve hours and after that I never cry because i felt weird. Why she is laying over there and not moving. I hold her hand but no response from her. That night I slept soundly till next morning. The next morning, I never cried. Everyone felt weird because the person she spoilt the most is me and I never cried even I first saw her body.

After the day she was buried 6 feets underground. That night I cried soundlessly after everyone go to sleep. What happen to her. The day she left us I still chat with her, she still smile to me. What had happen to her? People say her time had up, but why she left me so early. She say she want to see me get married, she say she want to eat my Wan Tan Mee. But she just leave me like that.

I miss her badly. She had leave me for 5 years but the memory that I been through with her is still fresh in my mind. Whenever someone bring up topic about her, I will start crying. No matter where am I and who i facing, my tears just keep flying out.

If I got a chance to repay her, I will just do anything for her. But it seem it is unlikely to repay her anymore. All I can do is be a succesfull person, a responsible person, and most important a good and kind person. Other than this, I can do nothing.

She is my beloved grandmother.

I think of this because last week, grandmother of my friend had just pass away. I don dare to comfort her because I knew how bad it is the feeling. I scare my tears my will fly out when I comfort her. But 1 thing. Life goes on. But we have to appriciate everyone you have now, else you will regret if you never do it, and I am regretting now that i never appriciate her until the day she left me.